WHAT HAVE YOU TO DO WITH ME, JESUS?
A sermon by George R. Pasley at Ketchikan Presbyterian Church
1 Kings 19:1-18; Luke 8:26-39
The first thing they always ask is
“How did you get filled with demons?”
Well,
I always say.
Well, there is a long answer
And it might surprise you
And it might confound you
And it might dumfound you.
People lose their way,
Sometimes by design and
Sometimes by chance and
Sometimes by transgression of another.
There are some I know,
Sufferers of abuse and misuse,
Overcome by demons of fear,
Named Paranoia, Anxiety, and Dependency.
There are some I know,
Wrong-place-wrong-time,
Saw something no human eyes should see,
And their demons- well,
They are legion, so many
We name new ones every day.
How did I get filled with demons?
Life happens.
Life happens,
And it often happens beyond our control
And when it does,
It can terrify.
Life happens-
That’s what you need to know.
What people seldom ask is this:
What was it like?
Have you ever watched a paint shaker
At the hardware store?
It was just like that,
Most of the time.
Have you ever seen a mother
Who momentarily loses sight of her child
And unfathomable panic sets in?
It was just like that,
Only the moments went on and on and on.
Have you ever watched a sports team
Getting trounced, hard, by their opponent-
75 to zero, or worse,
With still one more quarter to go?
Did you see the look of shame on their faces,
The futility in their eyes,
The helplessness in their legs and arms,
The desperation in their breath?
It was like that,
On my good days.
Have you ever seen a deer,
Surrounded by wolves,
Terror in her eyes?
That deer was me.
Have you ever had a bad-news-day
You thought would never end,
That extended into the evening and which
Was followed by a sleepless night?
Have you ever thought things
Were going in just the right way
Only to discover
They were really, truly
They were headed EXACTLY
The wrong way?
Have you ever watched
Someone you love
Step into a busy lane of traffic,
Just beyond your grasp?
If you have,
Then you know,
Life happens,
And you know just how it feels.
Elijah knew.
Elijah was doing well-
He survived for years in exile,
Drought and suffering all around,
He conquered false gods and
Demonic kings,
And then he hit the wall-
Loneliness, self-doubt,
Lack of faith were his demons
And though they may not seem much next to mine
Or maybe next to yours
A life without faith
And with self-doubt,
Can be EXACTLY like a boat without power
Caught in a raging storm.
Indeed
I was a bouncing skiff upon the waves,
It was worse than death,
It was more than living death
It was living hell, amplified.
But into that living hell
Sailed a boat,
And from the boat there stepped a man
And then the little bit of life that ‘twas left in me
That was truly me
Thought OH NO
Because I KNEW what turmoil would commence.
I knew the most of me,
The parts long since out of my control
Would assault him, would assail him.
Would curse him, denounce him and then trounce him,
And even though there was nothing left in me
That in any way, any shape, any form
Resembled hope, I anguished then
Because I anguished for the stranger
Who dared to set forth on my strange shore.
No one other dared to traipse upon this hill
For it was a curs-ed place
And I made it curs-ed even more.
It was a place of death and bones,
A place the righteous shunned
And the disorderly ignored,
A solitary place best left to pigs
BUT HERE HE CAME!
Oh yes he came and they,
The disturbances inside of me,
Began to scream-
But to my surprise it was for mercy
That they shouted!
While for a score of years
They had refused all attempts
By society at containment,
With him they made conversation-
Though it was nothing like YOUR conversation
During coffee hour after worship!
He commanded and they begged,
They spoke his name and he demanded theirs,
He held them by the throat and they begged,
They begged louder, with screeching tone,
They bargained, they threatened, they made excuse,
They promised sun and moon and stars
For they would settle for anything
Other than what he would have them do,
And isn’t it so, just so, with us?
But he would have his way with them
And with a shudder and a whimper
My life was split in two, time speaking-
The time before, with them,
And the time after, with him.
How do I recall the day
My life was given back, transformed?
You might think I remember the sound of sudden silence,
Beautiful and sweet-
And I do.
You might think I remember
The feeling of being surrounded
By steadfast love-
And I do.
You might think I remember
The sound of voices from outside me,
Not within-
And I do.
You might think I remember
The sensation of sudden clarity in my thoughts-
And I do.
You might think I remember
Suddenly discovering
The tender thing called hope
All over again-
And I do.
But most vividly I remember
The question that THEY, my legion,
Asked of him, the stranger from the boat:
“What have you to do with me, Jesus?”
That’s what I remember
Because at that moment
When I found myself sitting at his feet,
I knew the answer:
He has EVERYTHING
To do with me.
My life was gone,
He gave it back.
I was cursed,
He gave me blessing.
My life was filled with demons,
He cast them out,
Sent them far away
Where they would not destroy,
But more:
He filled the new me,
Filled me up and sent me out,
With joy, love and purpose.
That frightened some-
Some merely laughed
But some grew mad and
Some began to tremble,
So they bid him leave,
And he did as they requested.
That might seem strange,
Since he held my demons in such tight grip
And refused each and every counter-offer
Until they asked him to do just what he wanted.
But no, it wasn’t strange,
Him leaving when they asked,
Not strange at all because
After all, there I was
And where even the least one of his disciples is
There his kingdom grows,
If they only tell just what I went and told:
All God had done for me.
In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Amen.
